M18 jokes .. dun read if u are under it !!!

Tired of boring old dog name like Ruff, Spot, Lassie, etc?

The next time you get a dog, name it: Mypenis

Why, you ask?

Well just look at some of the great excuses you can use for school, work, and general conversation!-

I did do my homework but Mypenis ate it!

-Oh no, Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!

-Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.

-I'm sorry officer, I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.

-Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.

-Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.

-If Mypenis begs at the dinner table, I just tell it to LAY DOWN!

-I love giving Mypenis a bath, but Mypenis doesn't like cold water.

-At night, I like to snuggle with Mypenis.

-Mypenis likes it when people pet him.

-Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds!

-Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.

-Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?

-Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.

-I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.-I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.

-Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.

-I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore. He just plays dead.

-Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next door.

-HELP! Mypenis is lost...can you help me find him?

-Sorry to be driving slow officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.

-Sorry to be driving so fast, officer. I have to take Mypenis to the hospital.

-Mypenis got fleas from the neighbors dog.

-Anytime Mypenis gets too excited, I just scratch him behind the head.

-Please do not feed Mypenis table scraps!

-Do you think you could feed Mypenis while I'm on vacation?

-I have a cat that plays very well with Mypenis.

-When I take Mypenis for a ride in the car, I roll down the window so it can hang it's head out.











A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.


Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him!

But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"



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